Fred and Harry emerged from the clubhouse to tee off at the first, but Roger looked distracted.
“Anything the matter, mate.'” Harry asked.
“Oh, it's just that I can't stand the discount golf clubs pro,” Fred replied.
“He's just been trying to correct my stance.”
“He's only trying to help your game,” Harry soothed.
“Yeah, but I was using the urinal at the time.”
A retiree was given a set of discount golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.
The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, “Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green.”
The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.
“Now what ?” the fellow asked the speechless pro.
“Uh… you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup.” the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.
“Oh great ! so NOW you tell me.” said the beginner in a disgusted tone.
The gorilla's revenge
The pro at the Callaway RAZR X Irons club was rude. When he beat you on the golf course he not only took your money he then told you everything you did wrong and suggested that you would never be able to hit the ball out of your own shadow. One of the members had enough, so he bought a gorilla and trained it to play Callaway RAZR X Irons . He then set up a game with the pro–$ 1000 a side with automatics.
The day of the match arrived and all parties were ready. The first hole was a par five of 575 yards. The pro teed off splitting the fairway some 270 yards out.
The gorilla lumbered up to the tee. Placed the ball on the ground and made a mighty swing. The ball rocketed off the clubface 100, 200, 300, 400, 500, 575 yards and stopped 5 inches from the Callaway RAZR X Irons .
The pro just about fell out of his pants. If this was an indication of the way things were going to go then he would never live it down. He immediately settled the bet, remembering that he had urgent business across town.
As they walked from the tee the pro asked, “How does he putt?” The same as he drives, 575 yards, was the answer.
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